Welcome, readers,
Today, the series hits a quarter mark! Big thanks to everyone whose contributions—both on and behind the scenes—have kept the series going.
For this 25th edition, we feature the effusive Damilare Mary Olakulehin. She lectures at Sub-Saharan Africa’s number one institution of special education – the Federal College of Education (Special), Oyo, Nigeria. She is the National Secretary of the Deaf Women Association of Nigeria (DWAN). Dami holds a B.A. in Philosophy, a Master’s in Educational Management (Planning and Policy), among other professional qualifications. I have known her for some years, and we have often freely discussed our disabled experiences. Dami has a predilection for framing her disability within a concept of “Divine Fate”—the idea of a “God factor” working through the maze of disability to accomplish a greater purpose.
Dami tells her story
“I’ve found [in my disability] a deeper passion – [that is] knowing the love of God and His marvelous purpose for each of His beautiful creations, especially [those with] disabilities. This is a lifelong journey of purpose.”
I got the best of family support
I was born on May 7, 1984, at Ikeja, Lagos State, Nigeria. The early stages of my life were very impactful—the family love, the fun, the usual sibling rivalries, and togetherness. My parents—especially Dad—were strict disciplinarians. Mom brought the balance.
My hearing loss began at age 12—precisely on June 16, 1996—when I contracted measles. It was gradual and went unnoticed until 3–4 years later when I got a proper diagnosis.
Mom was heartbroken when the diagnosis revealed that my deafness was irreversible. But being a resilient woman, she quickly braced up to the challenge. She rallied my sisters behind me. My younger sister actually gave up her dream of full-time university education after Mom made it clear that family finances couldn’t support two children at the university simultaneously. So my sister opted for part-time study while working. She used to send money to support my university education. I believe I got the best family support a deaf child could have. My family was a real blessing.
Dealing with deafness
Deafness brought rude disruptions to my previously flourishing social world—loss of friends, fear of failure, becoming the subject of jests, and a weakening of ambition. In my younger days, family proved to be a backbone, but I couldn’t remain in their comfort zone forever. I recall:
“I can’t say that I adapted during those early days, because my immediate family did not act like deafness was a disease, so I had the confidence to continue doing life.”
However, the moment of reality came when I left home, and the narrative shifted:
“Being away from the covering of family stripped me of confidence, and the true impact of deafness hit me.”
Listening to Dami share her experiences stirs up strong emotions.
“I became isolated among friends and sometimes among family. My schedules and movements were greatly restricted. Before deafness, I was the social butterfly who went around visiting friends in their homes. I had this dream of becoming a doctor, but in SS1, I failed all the core sciences, which robbed me of confidence. I stayed back home for five years, poring over textbooks in a fruitless struggle to master math and physics. At the time, any man who asked me out had to prove his love by buying me a textbook.”
In hindsight, Dami still rues those five hard years battling subjects that didn’t align with her native abilities:
“[In those years, prior to learning sign language], I had the privilege of attending many seminars where speakers talked about how to identify and pursue purpose. But I could only hear bits and pieces, so I didn’t realize I should be pursuing expertise in my God-given gifts. Growing up, singing and writing had always been my thing—I should have let tough physics and math be.”
Then she went to university
From struggling with and failing the core sciences needed for a career in medicine, Dami eventually made a switch. She calls the series of events that led her to the arts in university “Divine orchestration.”
“[But for that Divine arrangement], I would have struggled through university pursuing a degree in the core sciences and probably wouldn’t have made headway. Mistakes like these are time-wasting and contribute to many deafies turning out to be late bloomers.”
Milestones on the journey
Dami identifies three critical pillars on her journey—family love, a few faithful friends and teachers, and the experience of community.
Family’s love first:
“I didn’t fully apprehend my hearing loss while at home. I had life goals and dreams (though with fears). Mom gave me all the attention and sacrificed everything to help me achieve my dreams. Dad sought alternative ways for me to understand the essentials of life. He enrolled me in a [Christian Faith] correspondence course where I first met Christ. That was in the year 2000.”
University was Dami’s testing ground—and her theatre of triumph. Away from home and exposed to the mockeries of deafness, her morale dipped initially. But two people stood strong by her—a fellow student, Stella, and a lecturer, Dr. Dele Idowu.
“My break came when the first-year results were out and I was not just the leading student in my department, but leading with a wide margin. Suddenly, course mates became friendly. I became a star student—almost forgot I was deaf. This phase taught me that with just one or two people to cheer you on, you can take on the world.”
Her rehabilitation came full circle at the Federal College of Education (Special), Oyo—arguably the institution with the largest demographic of disabled persons in Nigeria. Hundreds began their rehabilitation on its grounds. Oyo was a turning point:
“Older deafies helped me a lot in the rehabilitation journey. Dr. Tola Odusanya was particularly outstanding. He invested a lot in my rehabilitation just by being his usual self. Fortunately, the College employed me after my service year; that cemented my stay and helped me heal properly… I’m no longer ashamed to be Deaf.
“Since Jesus started bringing me into understanding, I’m becoming proud to be Deaf. Indeed, He makes all things beautiful in its time.”
Discrimination in enlightened quarters
Dami sighs when asked about her experiences with discrimination.
“The most painful discrimination experience has been from enlightened quarters. My first ever experience came from a secondary school teacher. A Department Head of Special Education at a prominent Nigerian university once shouted me down for requesting an interpreter. Another time, a well-known special educator treated me like a minor. When I confronted him about it, he made me a case study in rebellion.
“People like this expect a deaf person to never have an opinion. They see deafies as financial and mental paupers. A confident deaf person becomes a target for discrimination, often veiled as discipline. Sadly, these are the same people at the forefront of disability inclusion.”
Handling discrimination – my skin is getting tougher
“The first time, I just put my head on the table and wept right there in the classroom… that painful memory never left. The second time, I still wept… the third time, I was the one apologizing because, as the perpetrator said, my complaint was rude.
“The fourth time… I calmly returned to educate the perpetrator. He saw his error and apologized. That has been my strategy so far. My skin is getting tougher.”
Dami affirms that disability has developed her resilience and its 7 Cs—competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control.
“I’ve also learnt compassion,” she says, “to put myself in others’ shoes and weigh the odds before making decisions that affect them. Indeed, disability is a blessing in disguise.”
She captures her “Divine Fate” framing of disability in a favorite quote:
“All things work together for the good of them that love the LORD.”
She also believes: “Life is what you make of it.”
Biggest challenges
For someone who’s naturally self-willed and independent-minded, Dami says her biggest challenge is having to depend on others to bridge communication gaps through sign language interpretation.
“It has not been funny,” she admits.
Hilarious and hurtful experiences
“I recall meeting a pastor in Nigeria who went into some kind of apologetic on how to address me. He felt the term ‘deaf’ wasn’t socially acceptable and didn’t want to offend the Deaf community he was hoping to reach. I told him:
‘Sir, I said I am Deaf, so why should you take [medicine] for my headache?’ We all had a good laugh that day.”
On the flip-side of hurt, she shares a moving moment:
“I’ll never forget the night my six-month-old baby rolled off the bed. He cried himself to sleep before I instinctively woke up. It broke my heart. That night, I had a heart-to-heart conversation with him, apologizing and explaining that I am deaf. It hurts!”
Advice for the younger generation of PWDs
“Disability can only slow your pace; it cannot stop you. God waited even for the snail to enter the ark. Don’t give up. Don’t compare yourself to others. Your journeys are different. Develop self-drive. Find your God-given purpose and pursue it—squarely.
“Only God makes beautiful music from broken chords. To society, you’re disabled. To God, you’re unique… God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.”
The interview ends with Dami’s message to a discriminating society:
“Do to others as you would have them do to you, because the table turns—and disability doesn’t discriminate. Starlings and shorebirds survive and thrive on collective strength. That’s how life is designed to be.”
The Disability Champions Series, a collaborative project with Madam Joy Bolarin, Executive Director, Jibore Foundation, is anchored by Alexander Ogheneruemu (Disability Issues Blogger).
Special acknowledgement to T.O.L.A Foundation for constant backup support.