Oliver Johnson*, a 25-year-old man, who was living with his elder sister was sent packing from the house after the sister discovered he was queer.
Johnson’s mother refused to allow him into her house as well, describing him as a disgrace to the family.
“Left with no other option, I moved in with my friend and I was there for over three years,” Johnson recounted his experience of rejection from his immediate family.
Nigerians who identify as sexual minorities are often times disowned by their family members because of the embarrassment they might face from society.
They are also prone to experience discrimination in access to employment, housing, and healthcare services.
The existence of the Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act (SSMPA) 2014 also makes them vulnerable to attacks from state and non-state actors. The act enjoys unanimous support from a cross-section of the Nigerian society.
To prevent stigmatization and exclusion on the basis of their sexual orientation, queer people in Nigeria often times decide to hide their sexual identity from the general public.
Mauris Uche*, a 22-year-old undergraduate, realized early enough that society would not accept his sexual identity and orientation and he had to ‘regulate’ his behaviour.
“When I got to a stage where I became more conscious of my sexuality, I knew the society would not accept it. It was extremely difficult for me to present myself as what I was or what I felt
“I couldn’t change my sexuality because of society, but I changed my mannerism and how I interacted with people,” Uche explained. “I have always been sexually attracted to men, even as a child. While growing up, I was always wearing my sisters’ dresses, shoes, and makeup, he added
“My family didn’t have a problem with it at the time, they probably thought I would outgrow it and maybe I was doing that because I had mostly women around me.”
Currently, Uche faces the threat of being disowned by his parents if they ever come across incontrovertible evidence that he is queer.
“My family members do not know I am queer. They have had their suspicions but they are not certain.
“I have had to be discreet about my sexual identity. My mum sternly warns against it, she has threatened to disown me if the suspicions were ever found to be true.”
Struggling for acceptance
The concept of acceptance of queer people by society seems to be impossible because even when they are accepted by people around them, the situation could change at any point in time.
Johnson, who initially thought he had been accepted by his boss because she never had any issue with his sexual orientation, was amazed about how his boss would use the slightest opportunity to call him ‘gay’.
“My boss would shout me down and call me names at the slightest provocation. The last one she did before I resigned was when she was calling me gay while we were in a police station.
“I wasn’t sure what her objectives were, but I found it offensive, not even in a police station because the police officers might want to use that to exploit me.
“My mother was there as well, she felt embarrassed and pretended like she didn’t know I was queer,” he explained.
Johnson said he doesn’t feel accepted by society as he is continuously judged by everyone around him.
“I have grown beyond that and I have learned to be myself. There are certain things people say about queer people generally and these make me sad,” he added.
Like Johnson, Uche also doesn’t feel accepted by the general society either. He feels accepted by a few people who are mostly, members of the LGBTQ+ community.
He is already familiar with “silly jokes and derogatory comments that people make because of their perception of my sexuality.”
Exploitation, Blackmail, Kidnap – Queer people have survived the worst
While studying Mass Communication at Ahmadu Bello University in Zaria, Johnson’s roommate found out he was gay and began to blackmail him and ask for money.
“I was in the Northern part of Nigeria and I was scared that I might be attacked, so I kept on paying him with the little money I had. Despite that, he treated me with disdain within the hostel.
“When I couldn’t keep up with his demands, he told people in my hostel room but it didn’t make a difference. They only remarked that I shouldn’t sexually harass any of them, and they also said if I had not done that since I have been living in the hostel, it might not happen,” Johnson added.
After another episode of blackmail, Johnson eventually changed his hostel, but he described the period as traumatizing because he was blackmailed and exploited because of his sexuality.
Uche was kidnapped and beaten by some straight people within his neighbouhood in Lagos. They called his parents to request ransom before he was released.
“I was ambushed by some straight people who presented themselves as queer. They kidnapped me and forged a scene as though I was having sex with guys.
“They reported to my parents and requested a ransom before I could be released,” he explained.
His father didn’t believe that he was involved in having sex with men as reported by the group that kidnapped him, but the sad episode brought about a wedge of distrust between his mother and him afterward.
Two years after the incident, Uche still feels traumatized whenever he recalls what he tagged as an actual hate crime against him.
Families seeking conversion therapy
Conversion therapy is a dangerous practice that targets LGBTQ+ youth and seeks to change their sexual or gender identities to ‘straight’.
In Nigeria, families adopt beating, counseling, exorcism, deliverance, etc. to change sexual identities.
For Johnson, he was placed on a deliverance session which seemed unending as the ‘demons’ would not come out easily.
He shared that “my sister took me to Mountain of Fire church in Zaria. They said I would be delivered from the demon that I was possessed with and I was placed on three days of marathon fasting.
“I was given olive oil to put on my head and also licked some. The fasting was unbearable and it felt like I was going to die.”
Johnson noted that the process involved the pastors conducting the deliverance exercise expecting him to fall and manifest his seeming innate flaws, but when it didn’t happen, the fasting period was extended.
“My sister could no longer follow me to church after the first three days, so on my way to church, I would buy snacks and eat,” he added.
Johnson said, “despite all the physical and emotional torture, nothing changed, they have come to realize that they can’t help it, and my family has learned to let me be.”
Uche was also made to believe he needed spiritual healing and he sought religious help by praying that his sexual identity changed, but it made no difference.
“After the incident that happened which made my mother suspicious of my sexual identity and threatened to disown me if it was true, she invited some clerics to pray against it, nothing changed either,” Uche added.
His sister also recommended therapy, but he never welcomed the suggestion.
Religious perspective of LGBTQ+
Prophet Imoleayo Odelade, a Christian Religious leader, said the Christian faith is clearly against LGBTQ+ as the Bible warns believers against it.
Prophet Odelade said “some claim Jesus never said anything about homosexuality and therefore was neutral on the topic. That is not true because Jesus was unequivocal in saying that to understand marriage and sexual union, we must go back to the beginning and see how God created humanity and to what end.
“Humanity is uniquely created to show forth the image of God in the world, to make visible the invisible. God does this not just in generic, androgynous humanity, but through two very similar but distinct types of humans: men and women. They are human universals, not cultural constructs.”
Prophet Odelade buttressed further that being queer is listed as one of the sins that would prevent an individual from making heaven and noted that “God loves all of his creation and offers forgiveness to those who repent and turn away from their sins.”
While encouraging queer people to seek God’s intervention and mercy so they would not be destroyed as it was for Sodom and Gomorrah, he explained that “all people, regardless of their story, are deeply and unconditionally loved by God, each created with profound dignity and worth, not one more than another. This is more than mere religious happy talk — it’s true whether one is queer, straight, or otherwise.”
In the same vein, Alhaja Airat Ogungbenro, the Child Protection Committee Chairperson of Oyo State and member, Foundation of Muslim Women Association of Nigeria (FOMWAN), said the holy book condemned LGBTQ as those who perpetuated similar acts were destroyed by the wrath of Almighty Allah.
Alhaja Ogungbenro urged all Muslim faithfuls to reject same-sex relations in totality “because of the punishment prescribed by the Almighty Allah coupled with the Hadith since our lifestyle should be strictly based on holiness.”
She urged religious leaders to take it as a duty to preach against it and that parents should ensure their children and wards do not involve in LGBTQ+.
The Oluwo of Ayete, Ifajinmi Ojuawo Olaoniye on his part described LGQBT+ as an abomination within the traditional religion. He said wherever such happens, the elders would have to appease the gods to reverse such situations.
“It is a taboo for people to be involved in same-sex relationships. It is against the order of nature. It has never happened before among the traditional worshippers.
“If it ever happens, the elders know that something is wrong, and that they should appease the gods by presenting sacrifice, so that the situation can be reversed,” Olaoniye added.
Legal provisions and Human rights laws
In an article by the Human Rights Watch, the SSMPA in Nigeria was described as being contradictory to different local and regional legislations that promote the rights of an individual.
Section 40 of the Nigerian Constitution, 1999 as amended, guarantees the Right to form political parties, the Right to join trade unions, Freedom of association, and Freedom of assembly.
So also the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights (ACHPR) also guarantees the right to freedom of expression (article 9), freedom of association (article 10), freedom of assembly (article 11), and the equality of all people (articles 2 and 3).
Article 26 states that: “Every individual shall have the duty to respect and consider his fellow beings without discrimination, and to maintain relations aimed at promoting, safeguarding, and reinforcing mutual respect and tolerance.”
Similarly, the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), to which Nigeria is a signatory, also guarantees the rights to information and to freedom of expression (article 19), freedom of assembly (article 21), and freedom of association (article 22).
Isaac Agih, human rights lawyer based in Lagos told BONews that the SSMPA is one of the several laws by which the state encroach on and undermines the private rights of its citizens.
Agih said “the Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act in particular violates citizens’ right to privacy recognized and guaranteed by the Constitution under section 37 thereof. This same right is recognized under regional and international instruments including the African Charter on Human and Peoples Rights.
“Marriage is a contract and like every contract, parties have the freedom to set out the terms of their contract. In the case of same-sex marriage, the parties therefore are entitled to select who they want to be with and their choice(s) ought to be respected by all, including the state.”
He thereafter noted that “I feel that what couples do shouldn’t be the business of the state, particularly when no one is being hurt in the process. I think the state in this regard is a meddlesome interloper and I call for the abrogation of the law.”
On the contrary, Oluyemi Orija, a human rights lawyer and founder of Headfort Foundation, said the SSMPA does not negate any fundamental human rights enshrined in the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Orija said “many have argued that the law contradicts the right to private life but if this argument is right, it will then mean that the government does not have the right to confer the title of “married” on anyone.
“Anyone should be able to simply say, I am married or I’m not married. It is the law that even where a man and a woman live together and have children, without going to either marriage registry, church, mosque or payment of bride price according to Nigerian customs, then the parties are not married and the benefits accruing from marriage can not be enjoyed by parties in such cohabitation.
“If the government is the only authority that can legally confer the title of “married” or “divorced” on a Nigerian, I stand to say the government has an interest in our private lives and if we do not consider this as an infringement to our rights of private lives, then the prohibition of same-sex marriage is not an infringement on our private lives too.” she added.
Orija however noted that the Act should not be a justification for abuse of individuals who identify as LGBTQ+.
The call for acceptance and respect
Uche opined that queer people should be treated with utmost respect because they deserve empathy, love, care, and not hatred.
He said “we are not predators, we are humans and our sexual orientation should not prevent us from basic goodwill, love, and acceptance.
“The way you treat people is the benchmark of humanity. If you treat people badly because of their sexuality, you are creating a circle of hatred, violence, and intolerance for a group of people.”
Johnson also noted that the pressure from society has forced some queer people to be bisexual and get married when they ordinarily would have been queer.
“Let people be themselves, you dont have to force them to be what they are not,” he added.
Queer people continue to live in limbo in Nigeria, within the context of an ultraconservative socio-cultural and political cauldron as they navigate a precarious future, the likes of Johnson and Uche are uncertain of what this future holds.
Editor’s note: the names in asteriks are not the real names of the respondents, for the purpose of protecting their identities.
This story was produced with the support of the International Center for Journalists (ICFJ), in partnership with Code for Africa.